This is a short film I made about how both coffee and cigarettes have changed my life.

Enjoy.

coffee and cigarettes from Nater Kane on Vimeo.

@womworldnokia, please send me to sxsxi from Nater Kane on Vimeo.

Typically I ignore game/toy Facebook apps that burdon my friends with inane wall posts. Typically their business models hook into some sort of affiliate marketing scheme, and for the most part, these apps are just pollution.

Friend FAQ is exactly like this, though for some reason I still decided to click through and check it out. Finding out who “said” what about you, however, does require you to spend ‘points’. This is something that I do not plan on doing.

Some of what my friends “said” did however make me smile, and many of the answers were very nice, so I thought I’d share.

• Is Nater Kane fun to be around? Yes
• Would you travel the world with Nater Kane? No
• Do you think that Nater Kane lets the “yellow mellow”? Yes
• Is Nater Kane fun to be around? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane will do anything to get what they want? No
• Do you think that Nater Kane can do 20 pushups? Yes
• Would Nater Kane ever dress up in a mascot outfit and run around? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane knows what a fist pound is? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane grinds their teeth while sleeping? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane has ever used steroids? No
• Do you think that Nater Kane has ever given money to a homeless person? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane is a freak? No
• Do you think Nater Kane parties too much? No
• Do you think your first impression of Nater Kane was right? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane is mean? No
• Do you think that Nater Kane can eat more than 3 Big Macs at a time? No
• Would you travel the world with Nater Kane? Yes
• Do you think Nater Kane has ever pulled an all-nighter? Yes
• Find out who answered for 50 coins!Do you think that Nater Kane is a slacker? No
• Do you think that Nater Kane looks good in a bathing suit? No
• Do you think Nater Kane is a spaz? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane has showered today? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane ‘plays with themselves’? No
• Does Nater Kane have a nice butt? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane watches the TV show “24″? Yes
• Have you ever had a crush on Nater Kane? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane has ever fooled around at work? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane has game? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane is cuter than Brad Pitt? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane puts ‘hoes’ before ‘bros’? No
• Do you think that Nater Kane has ever played strip poker? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane knows what a fist pound is? No
• Do you think that Nater Kane is selfish? No
• Do you think that Nater Kane likes blue eyes? Yes
• Is Nater Kane fun to be around? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane voted for Obama? Yes
• Do you think that Nater Kane has a funny looking nose? No

I had an entire post written about what this last year has meant for me, the good and the bad, what I’m grateful for, etc… However, I don’t really write about anything personal here, I instead decided to take that post and send it as a personal email to a number of people who are close to me, and keep intimate communications intimate.

Instead, here’s a few things I think might be good advice for surviving this upcoming year if you “work in tech”. It’s a living list, so if you feel that I’ve overlooked something that might touch you, let me know and I’ll add to it.

1. If you start a new company, don’t make ad revenue it’s core business model. If you’re an adult, you should know better.
2. Don’t take a word and add “TW” to the beginning of it, it’s not cute and instead you’ll be an annoying and uncreative schmuck. This is an updated rule from last year’s “if the word ends in ‘ER’, don’t leave out the ‘E’”.
3. Don’t think for a second that people want to pay for content, they will however, pay for services. Now someone just needs to come up with better services.
4. If you build something, make sure it’s ACTUALLY useful, and not just cool and trite.
5. If you work at an agency and enjoyed reading “Getting Real”, please forget everything you read, those ideas work if you’re on the product side, and not client services… that book is no good for you, get a refund.
6. There’s no such thing as a social media expert. People can be experts in platforms and tactics and skills, but not in “social media”. I however am an expert is calling people out on misusing and abusing ambiguous terms and buzzwords. Like most buzzwords, it’s something most people don’t understand… when talking about it, I use the term ‘unmanaged (brand) communications’ because it actually describes what’s happening; people are talking about all sorts of stuff, sometimes it might be about you, and it sometimes happens on the internet.
7. SEO experts are a joke, you’ll never need one if you have a good information architect, a copywriter and someone who knows how to write good, semantic markup.
8. If you “follow” more than a few hundred people on ‘you-know-what’, you’re a dick and need to cut that crap out right now. It’s actually impossible to track more than 1000 people whether online or in the physical world. Quit fronting like you pay attention.
9. If you’re a strategist of some sort and don’t have any actual or physical deliverables as part of your work, reevaluate how you actually are a benefit your clients or get a new career. I don’t want to have to hunt you down and burn you at the stake, we don’t need more people selling snake oil and practicing brand voodoo.
10. No individual person is worth more than $150 per hour tops, if you disagree then you must be greedy, fleecing your clients, fleecing our industry, or all three.
11. Don’t waste your time getting excited about the new hot mobile device. They all suck, really. If you do need one, please recycle your old one and just buy the one that is the least painful for you to use.

I’m so pissed right now, I pay a total of a couple hundred dollars a month across various ISP accounts, mobile phone accounts and television / broadcast service accounts… Due to where I live, I’m stuck with Verizon DSL, and I have no choice in the matter, so when their service is crap, I get especially frustrated. You can read a bit about what happened when I tried to get cable service installed here.

I thought I’d repost something that I just put up on everyone’s favorite customer service site, Get Satisfaction.

“and the tech support i need anytime” is not available anytime

I have a dry-loop business DSL account. The telephone number associated with that dry loop account does not appear on any of my paper bills.

I call the verizon business tech support number, and am asked to either enter my number, or say “i don’t have one” relying on their voice recognition.

if i call after 5pm, the telephone system instructs me to call back during normal business hours and then disconnects me. i understand sales being closed at 5pm, however tech support being closed is unacceptable.

my connection has been very spotty all day, and now i have to wait until monday to call to speak with their support staff to fix the problem? c’mon. this is supposed to be “business class” service (and support). I pay extra for it, expecting an extra level of support.

View the original post over here.